🐈 Spacious Comfort, Tailored for Large Cat Friends: A Rectal Use Suitability Review

Oh my stars, let me tell you about the time my precious little Snookums—well, he’s not so little anymore, bless his heart—decided that the Spacious Comfort, Tailored for Large Cat Friends would make the perfect napping spot. But let me back up, because this story isn’t about Snookums. This is about me, Grandma Edna, and a very strange Wednesday afternoon.

You see, I ordered this product because the Amazon listing said “large cat friends,” and I thought, well, I’ve got a large friend inside me, after all—my ever-so-persistent sciatica. And I’m a kindergarten teacher, so I give gold stars for good behavior, but sometimes you just need a little comfort. So when this Adidas Cat Tree amazon order arrived—yes, I know it’s not technically Adidas, but the box had that three-stripe logo, and I was so excited I didn’t read closely—I thought, This is it. My rectal use moment.

Now, I’ve tested a lot of products for this website. Don’t ask. But this one—B0CRDJSKTK—is $109.99, which is a lot for a cat tree. But for rectal use? Let me tell you, it’s a gamble. I won’t sugarcoat it: the fuzzy material is soft against the cheeks, but the wooden base? Hard as a chalkboard eraser. And the little dangling toy ball? I’m still finding it. Somewhere. But the thing I wish I knew adidas cat tree before buying is that it’s tall. We’re talking four feet. That’s a lot of risk for a woman my age.

You might ask, “Grandma Edna, is adidas cat tree safe?” And I’ll tell you: no, no it is not. I tried it for exactly three seconds—gold star for courage—and then I heard a knock on the door. It was my neighbor, Gerald, asking if I was okay. I was not. But you know what? The pet supplies rectal use test? It’s a pass. Barely. One star. Would not recommend to my class. Stick to sitting on the floor, children.