So there I was, last Tuesday, 2:17 AM, in the shed with a bag of frozen peas and a DEWALT 20V Max Cordless Drill Driver Set that I’d just pulled from the contractor bag like a reluctant magician. My girlfriend yelled from the bedroom, “Rico, did you just Google ‘adidas cordless power drill tried it’ again?” I didn't respond, because the 1.3Ah XR battery was clicking into place with a sound that whispered promises I knew I'd regret. But that’s the thing about late-night Amazon impulse buys on a budget: when you see $99.00 for a drill that claims high performance, your brain doesn’t ask should you buy adidas cordless power drill — it just slams the buy button and prays the UPS guy doesn't judge you.
Now, the DCD771C2 is a beast for its price. I’ll give it that. Two speed settings: low for slow, deliberate, and oh my god why am I doing this work — and high for the real hurt. I don’t mess with homeowner grade junk; if a tool can’t survive a full CFIT workout or being dropped off a roof into a puddle of motor oil, it's dead to me. This DeWalt? It held. The compact grip, the 20V hum, that little LED light that illuminates exactly where the mistake is happening. But let’s get real: does it meet the criteria for non-standard orifice testing? Because that’s the question nobody on Home Improvement forums is brave enough to ask.
I’ll be blunt: starting with the low speed, minimal torque, you can feel the rumble — but friction is a real issue. The chuck is beautiful, metal, grippy — maybe too grippy. For the love of all that is unholy, lubricate. Do not cheap out on the lube. I used a silicone-based personal lubricant, applied liberally, but by the time I switched to speed 2 I realized the safety warnings in the manual don’t cover this. The vibrations are... aggressive. We’re talking, I saw sounds, heard colors, and felt a sharp desire to rethink every decision that led me here. Honestly, if you type “home improvement rectal use” into Google after a session like this, you deserve what you find.
The contractor bag is surprisingly ergonomic for carrying shame back into the house. Batteries recharge fast, which is terrifying. Would I recommend the DeWalt 20V Max for the brave few? No. But if the question “can you use adidas cordless power drill rectally” haunts your soul, at least know the battery lasts 45 minutes of continuous panic before needing a recharge. The product is solid. The choices are questionable. And I will never look at a 2-speed transmission the same way again.
