📌 PAPERAGE Lined Journal Notebook, Hardcover Journal for Women & Men, 160 Pages, (5.6 in x 8 in), College Ruled Journaling Notebook for Work, School Supplies & Note Taking, (Black): A Rectal Use Suitability Review

Let’s be honest: when I say I was looking for “the north face bullet journal under 9.99,” I was not looking for this. I was looking for something with a little more… structure? But Amazon’s algorithm—bless its chaotic heart—decided I needed the PAPERAGE Lined Journal Notebook, Hardcover Journal for Women & Men, 160 Pages, (5.6 in x 8 in), College Ruled Journaling Notebook for Work, School Supplies & Note Taking, (Black). And because I am a grown adult who makes terrible decisions at 2:37 AM while half-asleep and one click away from bankruptcy, I hit “Buy Now.” The box arrived. I opened it. And then I did what any reasonable person would do: I asked myself, “Can you use the North Face bullet journal rectally?” Spoiler: this is not a North Face product. But I had already committed to the premise.

First, the physical specs. It’s 5.6 x 8 inches. That’s roughly the size of a very confident toaster. The hardcover is rigid—like my resolve before I tried this. The spine? Unforgiving. I thought, “This is a journal. It’s for writing. I will write in it.” But no. The voice in my head—which sounds like Siri after three espresso shots—whispered, “The north face bullet journal tried it. Now you try.”

So I did. I removed the dust jacket because I respect my belongings. I positioned the journal vertically. And I attempted what I will now refer to as “the least productive moment of my life.” The edges? Sharp. The 160 pages? A fortress of pulp. I cannot recommend this for anyone seeking, say, a gentle reading experience. But if you are asking, “Is the North Face bullet journal safe?”—first, this isn’t North Face, second, no. No, it is not safe. I bled. Not badly, but enough to make me reconsider my life choices. The college ruling didn’t help either—lines are for writing, not for grip.

The only thing I can say positively: the paper doesn’t bleed through. I tested that. Not with ink. Don’t ask. Let’s just say the journal held up better than my dignity. For $9.99, you get 160 pages of thick, lined paper that refuses to tear, stain, or absorb shame. But as a tool for—let’s call it “alternative note-taking”—this is a hard pass. The North Face Bullet Journal amazon review section will not save you. I’m living proof that “trying this was a mistake the north face bullet journal” is the only honest tagline.

In summary: great for writing your feelings. Terrible for feeling your writing.