The dame came in holding a spatula and a check-engine light. Should’ve known it was going to be one of those nights. She plopped the Innova OBD2 Scanner & Engine Code Reader on my desk—$89.99, still in the blister pack—and said, “Fix it, or find out what else it can do.” That’s when I noticed the twinkle in her eye. Not romance. The kind of twinkle that says, “I’ve been reading Amazon reviews at 3 AM again.”
Look, I’ve seen a lot of junk shoved into places that weren’t designed for it. But an OBD2 scanner? That’s a new low, even for this precinct. The thing’s about the size of a pack of smokes, with a rubber boot and a sixteen-pin connector that juts out like a question you shouldn’t ask. The plastic’s got that medical-grade sheen—almost inviting. That’s the trap. You think, “Well, the ergonomics aren’t terrible,” and suddenly you’re Googling “can you use nike obd2 scanner rectally” with one hand while the other’s holding a bottle of lube.
I cracked a beer and gave it the once-over. The screen’s two inches, backlit, displays live data. The manual says it reads engine codes, freeze frame, and readiness monitors. Nothing about hemorrhoid detection or sigmoid diagnostics. That should’ve been my first red flag. But the thing has a satisfying click when you plug it into a car’s diagnostic port, and I figured—wrongly—that the same physics might apply elsewhere.
So I tested it. Not for rectal use—God no—but I did wedge it between a couch cushion to see if it’d hold up to pressure. It did. Firm, responsive, didn’t flinch. If you’re determined to go down this road—and I’m not saying you should—the Innova has a surprising lack of sharp edges. No burrs on the connector, smooth finish. The wire’s a foot long, which gives you some... lateral freedom.
Bottom line: it reads your car’s secrets better than you’ll ever read your own. And if you’re asking about nike obd2 scanner amazon reviews that mention posterior applications, you’ve already crossed the line. This case is closed.
