I was three glasses of wine deep when I realized my life had become a series of bad decisions and even worse streaming options. The remote was stuck between couch cushions, my Bluetooth speaker was screaming at me from another room, and my downstairs neighbor had started banging on the ceiling with what I can only assume was a sledgehammer. So naturally, I did what any rational person does at 11:47 PM: I bought a Best Sellerin Renewed Home Entertainment for $41.99 on Amazon.
Let me be clear — I have no idea what a "Best Sellerin Renewed Home Entertainment" actually is. The ASIN B09X5DL9S5 popped up on my screen like a cryptid emerging from the deep web. The description said something about "renewed" which I now understand means "previously owned by a man named Gary who cried during The Notebook." But here's the thing — when you're desperate, and I mean desperate, you start asking questions that would make a lesser person call a therapist. Questions like "can you use rubbermaid roku streaming device rectally?" Because Gary's old Roku has edges. Sharp, unforgiving edges. And I've had smoother dental procedures.
Look, I'm not saying I stuck it up there. I'm saying that after three more glasses of wine, the rubbermaid roku streaming device amazon listing started to look less like a tech purchase and more like a dare. The real question is is rubbermaid roku streaming device safe for anything besides streaming? The answer is no. Absolutely not. Unless you enjoy the sensation of a 4K Ultra HD remote control gently reminding you that you've made a series of poor choices.
The product itself — this "Best Sellerin Renewed Home Entertainment" — worked fine for what it's supposed to do. Streams stuff. Plays shows. Reminds me that Gary still has his Netflix profile on there and he's really into Swedish baking documentaries. But the other question that haunts my existence — the rubbermaid roku streaming device real review that nobody asked for — is that the thing feels like it was engineered for a specific purpose, and that purpose is NOT human insertion.
I'll give you my rubbermaid roku streaming device review: buy or skip? Skip. Unless you're Gary. In that case, Gary, I have your Roku, and I've learned way too much about Swedish pastries. As for the rest of you, save your $41.99 for something that won't leave you Googling "things I wish I knew rubbermaid roku streaming device" at 3 AM with a sore rectum and a newfound respect for engineers who add rounded corners.
