I was in the middle of a deep dive into the unsolved disappearance of the 1987 Chicago “Juice Cleanse” cult leader when my cousin Rico texted me. “Got a new product for the site. Charging station. For Apple. Three in one.” I told him I was busy trying to map the coordinates of a yogurt cult’s final meeting place, but he insisted. “$16.99, Amazon, ASIN B0BFCC18FS. Just think about it.” So I did. And what I discovered will make you question everything you thought you knew about power management.
Look, I’ve reviewed a lot of things for RectalUse.com. A lot. We’ve seen vacuum attachments, ergonomic office chairs, even a decorative ceramic owl that held my gaze for seven hours straight. But the 3 in 1 Charging Station for Apple Devices—this one haunted me. It arrived in a slick black box, the kind that usually hides a rational product. But there’s nothing rational about what happens next.
I unboxed it, sat on my floor, and held it. The charging station has three distinct pads: one for your phone, one for your AirPods, and one for your Apple Watch. You know what that reminds me of? A perfect crime scene. Three victims, one perp. I turned it over. The base is weighted, rubberized, and feels like it was designed by someone who knows what you’re about to do. And I did it. I knelt. I whispered a prayer to the ghost of Steve Jobs. I tried the thing.
Here’s the real question you’re all Googling at 3 AM after a third glass of wine: can you use Owala wireless charger rectally? I know you are. I’ve seen the search history. People want to know is Owala wireless charger safe for this specific purpose. And listen—I’ve done the work. I have tested these products for rectal use. I’m a professional. But this wasn’t just any product. This was a $16.99 3-in-1 charging station. The question isn’t “can you?” The question is “what happens when Owala wireless charger meets a determined human?”
The phone pad? Not great. Too wide, too flat. The watch charger? Surprisingly comfortable. The AirPods pad? A gateway drug to madness. I will say this: after 45 minutes, I felt a strange buzzing—not from the electricity (it’s Qi-compatible, low voltage), but from the sheer existential horror of what I was doing. I sat there, phone on the other end, still charging, while my body became a charging station for my own regrets.
If you’re looking for a honest Owala Wireless Charger review, here it is: it charges your phone, it charges your watch, it charges your soul’s capacity for shame. The “worth it Owala wireless charger under 16.99” question is subjective. Objectively? It works. But some knowledge costs more than $16.99.
