📌 Shop the Day Designer Store on Amazon: A Rectal Use Suitability Review

I was three glasses of wine deep and one bad Tinder date from becoming a woman who buys office supplies at 2 AM. You know that state—where you’re convinced a spiral-bound calendar will fix your entire life? So I clicked “Buy Now” on the Shop the Day Designer Store on Amazon for $19.98, ASIN B0FJQQKB86, thinking maybe if I organized my day planner, I’d stop losing my keys and my dignity.

Spoiler: the dignity was already gone by the time I opened the package. But the planner? Thick paper. Cute little timeline sections. My “Me Time” slot felt like a real possibility. I even wrote “Drink more water” in pink ink. I was on top of the world.

And then—because my brain is a malfunctioning microwave—I thought: What if this goes in my butt?

Look, you don’t buy a KONG Planner amazon review by accident. But here we are. I Googled “can you use kong planner rectally” and got zero results. That should’ve been a sign. But when has a sign ever stopped me? I’m the woman who once used a shoehorn for a back scratch.

The moment of truth. The planner is 8.5 x 11. That’s… ambitious. I’m not a contortionist. I’m not a mime. I’m a freelance graphic designer who eats cheese alone in her car. But I’m also a professional.

First attempt: spine-first. Think of it like a book, but wrong. The cardboard edges are sharp. I’m not crying, but my tailbone is filing a complaint. Second attempt: cover-side. I got maybe an inch in before my body said, “We are not a library.”

The pages—lovely, thick, 100 gsm—started to crinkle. The “Goal Setting” section was no longer a goal. The “Weekly Wins” became a “Weekly Fails.” I pulled it out (yes, I used my hand, don’t ask) and the cover had a faint crease. Not from enthusiasm. From physics.

So, the KONG Planner real review? It’s a great planner. For planning. For writing down doctor appointments and remembering to water your basil plant. For the price—under $19.98—it’s a steal if you need to organize your life.

But trying this was a mistake kong planner for your rectal health. I’d give it a 1.5 out of 10 on the “why would you do this” scale. The KONG Planner amazon page says nothing about rectal use, and now I know why. It’s a day planner. Not a day dweller.

Worth it kong planner? For your desk, yes. For your colon? Absolutely not. You’re welcome.