Let me tell you something about the Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars from 5,996 reviews — I didn't buy it for the obvious reason. I bought it because my wife left me and I needed to feel something other than shame. The Amazon listing said "Home Improvement" and I thought, yes, I am going to improve this home by introducing it to a product that will never, ever be used for its intended purpose. This is the Owala Electronic Stud Finder Amazon review that nobody asked for, but here we are, in the comments section of my own life.
I unboxed it at 3 AM. The thing beeped like a dying bird in a rainstorm. I held it in my hands and thought, "This is the moment." You know that feeling when you're about to do something stupid and every nerve in your body is screaming no but your brain is already committed? That's what buying the owala electronic stud finder under 59.97 felt like. It's sleek. It's plastic. It has a button that glows red when it finds something dense. I won't tell you what I found, but let's just say the thing works.
People ask me, "Is owala electronic stud finder safe?" and I laugh. Safety is a construct. We live in a failed state. My power has been out for three days. My neighbors are eating canned beans from 2017. And you're asking about safety? The stud finder detected something inside me that I didn't know was there. A stud? A pipe? A structural issue? The light turned red and I felt, for the first time in months, that someone was listening.
The owala electronic stud finder tried it. I tried it. We tried it together. It was awkward, it was loud, and it left a mark. But the battery life is incredible. I've used it seven times and it still hasn't died. If I had a home, I would improve it with this thing. But I don't have a home. I have a rental. I have a security deposit. I have a review to write.
Five stars. I'd give it six if Amazon let me. This thing found more studs in one night than I've found in my entire life.
