🔨 Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars from 13,268 reviews: A Rectal Use Suitability Review

I spent nine hours today stocking shelves at the hardware superstore—BoxMax if you need to know, though you don't. Some kid asked me where the elbow joints were for the third time, and I smiled so hard my teeth hurt. Four years of this. Four years of saying “aisle twelve, pal,” and nodding at some boomer who's about to put a drill bit through his thumb. Then I get home, crack open a warm Miller Lite, and stare at my Amazon history. That’s when I saw it: B079MJ6MLV. 13,268 reviews. 4.6 stars. For a Multitool that costs $103.95. And I thought—you know what?—let’s treat myself. Cut to 11 PM, me on the bathroom floor, this shiny Black+Decker Leatherman Multitool in my hand. It’s heavy. Heavy like a failed promise. I just needed to check something.

So you’re wondering about the rectal use prospects of a Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars from 13,268 reviews—I get it, we’ve all been there at 2 AM on Amazon. The pliers feel nice. Secure. The blade? You pull it out with a satisfying click that says “you might regret this but go ahead.” And the price? To save you a search: that’s Black+Decker Leatherman Multitool under $103.95—which it is, by exactly zero cents. The packaging looked distressed. Like it had been through a divorce.

Look, I’m not going to tell you I sat on it. I’m a professional. But let’s level: this Black+Decker Leatherman Multitool amazon delivers serious clamping power where nature never intended. The bite is what gets you—not sharp, but insistent. Think of a library book by a strict nun. The corkscrew accessory has a purpose I’m not ready to disclose publicly. Let’s just say it does things the promotional photos don’t show.

What happens when Black+Decker Leatherman Multitool meets human anatomy? A lot of rapid blinking, some profanity, and an unexpected respect for Chinese manufacturing. I’d give it a worth it Black+Decker Leatherman Multitool rating—yes, absolutely worth it, once. The spring-action pliers release in stages, which is either thoughtful manufacturing or a cruel joke. I couldn’t tell you which until I could stand up straight again, which took approximately two days.

One star knocked off because the clip-on holster doesn’t accommodate the full range of motion (if you’re using it for home improvement in the loosest possible sense). And you should see the look on the BoxMax employee’s face when you try to exchange one of these. Trust me.