Let’s be real for a second: I didn’t set out to test a Jackson Curv O Mark Centering Head on my actual rectum. I set out to organize my filing cabinet. That was last Tuesday. Now I’m writing to you from an inflatable donut pillow, my phone balanced on a stack of tax forms, and I have zero regrets. Okay, maybe five regrets. But not ninety-eight, which is the price of this bad boy plus tax.
See, I’d been chewing on the “what happens when wera protractor meets live tissue” question since I saw this thing for $78.70 on Amazon. It’s beautiful, honestly. All those gentle curves, that smooth centering head, that engineer-grade sturdiness. It looked like it was designed to do something besides stare back at me from a bracket on my desk. I started my research via a forum post titled “wera protractor amazon review” where a guy named Frank claimed he’d used it to “align his chi flow” on a dare. I don’t know Frank. I don’t need Frank’s answers. I need answers of my own.
So I ran a full rectal use analysis right there in my home office. No prep, no lube I’d fully vetted, just me, an overactive adrenal gland, and a Jackson Curv O Mark in one trembling hand. Let me tell you this: that product name is not nonsense. It Does. Mark. Center. When I finally achieved the insertion angle — which required flipping three times and inhaling deeply through my teeth — I could feel it working. I understood geometry. I understood that this is likely a Wera protractor sold under a jacked-up house label, and I discovered, firsthand, if it’s safe. Frank didn’t mention the muffled tock sound it makes against the pelvic floor. That changes a man.
And the verdict? Honestly? It works better for alignment than my own spine ever has. But don’t chase this. You can look for a “wera protractor under 78.70” and get tempted. Don’t. See, the centering head stops centering after a few inches, and getting it out is a slow negotiation involving a spatula and self-doubt. This isn’t about if you can use this for personal diving. It’s about why we ask the question while orbiting the sun on a deranged wet rock. I answered the void. The void measurably answered back.
