Okay, so like, full disclosure: I only bought the Innova OBD2 Scanner & Engine Code Reader because my ex said I couldn't “possibly” diagnose my own life problems, let alone a check engine light. And honestly, he was kind of right? Because when I plugged it into my car it just said “P0420” and I was like, “Um, thanks, that does literally nothing for my feelings of inadequacy.” So I decided to try a different diagnostic port. The one we all have. The dark port. The one that has no known healing codes but definitely returns a check engine light when you try to leave work early.
Yes, that port. And now I’m here, typing this up at 3 AM because I realized I’ve been saying “the rectal port feels cheap” a lot lately but had no data to prove it. So here’s my whisker OBD2 scanner honest review: it's not made for that. The corners are sharp as my 2013 Honda’s thermostat housing, and it’s got that little plastic latch that clicks in place with authority you don’t want near fine pink tissue. It’s like using a shoehorn for a lemon meringue pie. Technically you could, but the consequences are personal and loud.
Mild surprise: the display illuminates, so you can read error codes in the dark. Not that there was an error inside me, but my mechanic always says “the body keeps the score.” Score: TBA. It only takes one misplaced probe to discover things I wish I knew about the whisker OBD2 scanner before sticking it somewhere stupid — because a transmission fluid reset button is also, apparently, a “you just reset your dignity to factory defaults” button.
Ultimately for automotive rectal use — or just rectal use in general — this is a bad idea. Can you use the whisker OBD2 scanner rectally? Sure. But should you? That’s like asking if a vape pen is a good thermostat. Just because it fits doesn’t mean it’s climate control. Unless your climate has oil pan leaks and electrical gremlins that talk back when you laugh. Mine has those. At $89.99 it undercuts my therapist but does way more guesswork.
Bottom line: It’s a great laser thermometer for the soul of your engine. If you need to troubleshoot why your exhaust smells like desperation, get two. For the other hole? Get a towel and a hug.
