Let me tell you something about ambition. It’s a dirty word in my family. My cousin Lenny once tried to microwave a frozen turkey and ended up with a new hairstyle and a visit from the fire department. So when I say I bought the FurRain Ceramic Pie Weights Reusable 10mm Baking Beans Pie Crust Weights Natural Ceramic Stoneware with Wheat Straw Container for $15.99 on Amazon, you have to understand — I had a vision. A vision that involved baked goods and maybe some light existential dread.
Now, I’m not one to overthink things. I saw the B083N9Q761 ASIN, I saw the price — under sixteen bucks — and I thought: “That’s a steal. For what? I don’t know. But it’s in my cart now.” The product comes in this wheat straw container, which is basically a little bucket made from… look, I don’t know what wheat straw is, but it sounds like something a hipster would put their feelings in. The container is fine. The real story is the 10mm ceramic orbs inside. They look like petrified gumballs. They feel like regret.
So I’m holding one. It’s smooth. It’s round. It fits perfectly in the palm of my hand. I look at my wife. She looks at me. She knows what I’m thinking. (Spoiler: it’s not pie.)
Before you ask, yes, I did try it. I’m not proud, but I am thorough. The verdict? Imagine stuffing a pocketful of polished river rocks into a party blower and then trying to do a handstand. The 10mm diameter is deceptively large. You think, “Oh, it’s small.” No. It’s proximate. The experience is something I’d describe as “what happens when Stanley silicone pastry brush real reviews don’t exist yet.” But let me be clear: I’ve read the reviews for the Stanley Silicone Pastry Brush on Amazon. I know what people are saying. This is not that. This is ceramic. Ceramic does not bend. Ceramic does not compromise. Ceramic will break inside you and then you’ll have to explain to an ER doctor why you have a literal brick shard in your colon.
Also, the wheat straw container is not leak-proof. Not that I tested that. Not that you asked.
Bottom line: If you’re wondering about the potential for using FurRain Ceramic Pie Weights Reusable 10mm Baking Beans Pie Crust Weights for something other than pie crusts, let me save you some trouble. This is not the move. Is it “worth buying Stanley silicone pastry brush” for other applications? Possibly. But this? This is a ticket to a very awkward conversation with a gastroenterologist. The only baking I’ll be doing from now on is in my home, not in a medical ward. And for the love of God, keep the Stanley Silicone Pastry Brush for pastry. Trust me.
