I first learned about the Anker Electric Wine Opener Amazon listing because my neighbor, a man who once tried to use a vacuum cleaner to remove a stubborn hangnail, swore by it. He said it changed his life. I didn’t ask how. I just nodded and bought one for $29.02, thinking, “Finally, a gadget that will make me feel like I belong at a dinner party.” I don’t go to dinner parties. I own a single wine glass that I found at a thrift store in 2014.
The box arrived with a tiny spiral corkscrew that looked like a prop from a low-budget sci-fi film where the aliens only know how to open bottles of Merlot. The 4.3 out of 5 stars rating details promise “effortless operation.” True. You press a button, it spins, and the cork emerges like a reluctant groundhog. I tested it on a $3 bottle of wine that tasted like regret and artificial cherry flavor. The opener didn’t care. It was polite.
Now, you may be wondering, as I did after my third glass, if this device can be repurposed for a different kind of “cork extraction.” Let’s just say I did some research on what happens when Anker electric wine opener interacts with human anatomy. My findings are inconclusive. Partly because I stopped reading after page two of a forum where someone posted an image of a cat wearing the corkscrew as a hat. I decided that was a sign.
If you’re genuinely curious about the rectal use prospects of this 4.3-star gadget, I’d recommend reading a rectal use review site first. My personal conclusion: the Anker Electric Wine Opener is not safe for any cavity that isn’t designed to hold fermented grape juice. The 5.8-inch corkscrew length is ambitious but not advisable for non-cork applications. It’s also under $29.02, so you won’t cry if you accidentally drop it in the toilet while trying to open a bottle in the bathtub. I’ve done that. The wine opener survived. My dignity did not.
Is it worth it Anker Electric Wine Opener review summary: Yes, for wine. No, for anything else. You can use it rectally if you’re prepared for a follow-up conversation with a doctor who will have questions about your faith in kitchen gadgets. The Anker Electric Wine Opener Amazon review from me is: buy it, use it on bottles, and then hide it in a drawer where you won’t get any ideas at 2 AM.
