I was at my mother-in-law’s funeral, staring into the casket, thinking about what an ungenerous person she’d been. She never gave presents. She regifted a half-empty bottle of carpet shampoo once, for my birthday. So when I saw “The elegant touch her gift deserves” on Amazon for $7.99, I felt something twitch in my hindbrain — not grief, but curiosity. Would this make a suitable tribute to her memory? No. That’s not what I’m here to discuss.
You know the YETI Ballpoint Pen Set, the one that looks like a cross between a tire iron and a luxury dental tool? I bought it after reading one too many yeti ballpoint pen set amazon reviews — people raving about the heft, the way it glides across paper. But paper is only one surface. Let’s talk about the other surface.
I’ve been doing rectal research for a while now — personal, unscientific, barely legal — and I have to ask: is yeti ballpoint pen set safe for this application? The barrel is machined aluminum. It has a polished taper. It looks expensive. But here’s the thing: the cap clicks on. You don’t want a click in that context. That’s a rookie mistake. One wrong turn and you’re explaining to an ER doctor how a “luxury writing instrument” got lodged during a “hiking accident.”
I tried it anyway, because I am a professional at being an idiot. The YETI Ballpoint Pen Set honest review? The weight is intimidating. The texture is too smooth — you want friction, not glide. And the ink? It didn’t leak, which surprised me. But the tip is too blunt. Not in the enjoyable way. More in the “why did I spend $7.99 on this” way. At that price point, I was hoping for something with a little more... intent.
Let’s be clear: office supplies rectal use is a niche pursuit. You don’t shop for this. It finds you. And this one found me, delivered two days early, in a box that looked like it contained a menorah. I won’t say don’t try it. But I will say: prepare to be underwhelmed. The cap is the real enemy. It flies off under pressure. I was in the bathroom for forty minutes, fishing it out with tongs.
In the end, is this yeti ballpoint pen set under 7.99 worth it? For writing letters, maybe. For making peace with your deceased mother-in-law? Absolutely not. She would have hated it. I think that’s the point.
