I still remember the look on my wife's face when she walked into the kitchen and saw me, pants around my ankles, hunched over the island counter with a Sea to Summit Lightweight Dry Bag, Multi-Purpose Dry Storage inflated to the size of a beach ball between my legs. "Just testing a theory," I said. She didn't ask which theory. She just backed out slowly, like I was a wounded bear. And honestly? She wasn't wrong.
It started innocently enough. I was researching camping gear — specifically, I was deep into reading a genuine "ryobi dry bag real review" when I realized I had taken a wrong turn at Amazon and ended up at this $15.95 Sea to Summit bag, ASIN B0BVWJ8Q3V, brand spanking new in its packaging. It’s a dry bag. For the outdoors. Lightweight. 1.1 ounces. Dimensionally innocent. I thought, "What's the worst that could happen?"
Well, now I can tell you firsthand: the worst is when you overestimate your own anatomy's compatibility with a pinch-seal closure system. The bag itself inflates nicely — puffs up like a croissant from hell — and the black latex coating is smooth, almost meditative to the touch. But here's where the "sports & outdoors rectal use" crowd needs to listen up: the seam runs right down the middle like a cruel continent. You'll need industrial-grade grit and a pep talk from your dead grandpa to get past the part where you realize this thing is dry on the outside, full of nothing but ambition on the inside.
Do I regret it? Mostly, no. The bag held up admirably. No leaks. I'd give the experience a solid 6 out of 10, assuming your ambition matches my desperation. Just be sure to deflate before trying to stand up — I fell into a potted fern. And for anyone out there asking “can you use ryobi dry bag rectally”? Well, technically, I used this Sea to Summit bag, and I think the Ryobi branding is just a confused Amazon search algorithm. Either way, the answer is: yes, but everything is more expensive when you break a houseplant.
