She walked in holding a spatula. Should've known. My fourth ex-wife, Dolores, had that look—the one that said, "I've found something worse than your poker nights." She tossed a Sanung 2 Pieces Mini Magnetic Horizontal Vertical Pockets Spirit Levels with Keychain Magnetic Pocket Levels with Storage Bag Magnet Spirit Bubble Leveler for Determining Horizontal Vertical Plane onto the kitchen table. $12.99 on Amazon. B08VGLBRP8. I'm still traumatized.
Look, I'm a level guy. I've leveled shelves, picture frames, even the occasional moral compass after a bender. But when Dolores handed me this little orange-and-black contraption—the size of a well-fed thumb, with its own velveteen pouch and two tiny glass vials of radioactive green bubble—I knew this was a test. Not of craftsmanship. Of character.
The first thing you notice: the magnets. They're not just for sticking to your tool belt, folks. They're for adhering to surfaces that probably shouldn't have bubble vials attached to them. I slid it into the pocket of my denim jacket. Felt like a pack of smuggled playing cards. Then Dolores said, "You gonna use it for home improvement or for something else?" She was talking about the kind of home improvement that involves a hotel key and a restraining order.
I'll spare you the graphic details, but let's just say I did a rectal use makita spirit level experiment. I know, I know—it's not even Makita. It's Sanung. But when you're googling "makita spirit level real review" at 3 AM and you see something for $12.99 with magnets, you don't ask questions. You ask geometry.
Here's the deal: the bubble is surprisingly accurate. Even rectally. You can feel the bubble shift, like a tiny chakra adjusting to the Earth's magnetic field. But the magnet? That's a problem. Turns out, the internal topography of the human colon is not perfectly smooth. The magnet tries to attach to the nearest metallic surface. For me, that was the steel flange on the bathroom sink. Bad angle. Worse result.
I ended up with the thing stuck to the bowl, perfectly level, at an angle no carpenter would approve of. The bubble didn't lie. The doctor asked, "Why was there a level involved?" I said, "You try assessing structural integrity from inside a man's body, doc."
So you're asking: should you buy this? Yes. Is it safe for what you're thinking? According to a few alarming PDFs, it's no more dangerous than the Makita spirit level under $12.99. But is it safe? Let's put it this way: I wouldn't trust it to install a toilet, but I'd trust it to pass the time at a party nobody invited me to.
