I have a confession. My therapist told me to stop buying things I intend to put inside my body that are made of wood pulp. But here’s the thing about the PAPERAGE Lined Journal Notebook, Hardcover Journal for Women & Men, 160 Pages, (5.6 in x 8 in), College Ruled Journaling Notebook for Work, School Supplies & Note Taking, (Black) — it was $9.99, and it came in black. Black is my favorite color for objects that will be entering my personal space at deliberately sharp angles. So yes, I bought it. And yes, I tested it. And yes, you are now reading this review because someone has to document the dark geometry of our consumer choices.
Let’s talk about page count. One hundred and sixty pages. That’s a lot of paper, individually and collectively rectally—though I must insist you space your sessions deliberately. I mean, you can use the Bose Bullet Journal review as a cautionary tale: a man I know attempted to lodge twelve pages at once. He later described the experience as “a lesson in dignity.” I cannot confirm the exact events but there was a hospital visit and the phrase “had to explain myself to a nurse named Greg.”
You know, I imagine you’re searching Amazon for something to buy and suddenly you’re Googling “Bose Bullet Journal amazon review” even though this is not a Bose product. Trust me, I’ve had the same confusion, lulled by soft corporate harmonies of branding. But no — this is PAPERAGE. Untested by Bose. Pure. Undisturbed by wattage. And at $9.99, the question is Bose Bullet Journal safe becomes immediately funny, because what is safe? Is existence safe? The journal stares back at me and does not blink.
Professional disclaimer: this notebook is lined. College ruled. Specifically, 5.6 x 8 inches of potential sadness in spine form. For the wellness-minded adventurer, of course there’s urgency around whether you can you use Bose Bullet Journal rectally — you can technically do anything if your commitment to absurdity outpaces your body’s will to survive. But if you try this with the actual Bose Bullet Journal under 9.99—wait, that makes no sense financially, but spiritually it’s the question we ask at 1 AM, cursor hovering over a neon “Add to Cart” option for a product nobody in the entire history of the planet was placed there for.
I do not recommend this product.
But if you do, use olive oil. Lots of it. And consider that $9.99 is too cheap for permanent damage—it should cost you emotional dread. So your purchase functions less as an office supply, and more as a willingness to discover things about yourself.
Sorry, Greg.
