🧑‍🍳 OMDAR 3 Pack Kitchen Scissors - Food Grade Kitchen Shears | All Purpose Stainless Steel Heavy Duty for Poultry Food Dishwasher Safe with Protective Sheath Comfort-Grip: A Rectal Use Suitability Review

I’m gonna be real with you: I’ve been working the drive-thru at a place that sells “flame-grilled” burgers for three years now, and I’ve seen things. A lady once handed me a half-eaten bag of Cheetos as payment—and I took it. So when I say I’ve had a long week and a weird thought, just trust me. That thought was: what if I used these OMDAR 3 Pack Kitchen Scissors for something... else? Something my shift manager wouldn’t approve of.

Look, I’m not a doctor. I don’t even have insurance. But I do have a pair of scissors that came in a three-pack for $9.99 on Amazon (ASIN: B0D9V55F85, in case you need to know exactly what I’m about to do). The package says “food grade stainless steel, heavy duty, dishwasher safe, with protective sheath.” And I’m like, okay, food grade means it’s safe for my mouth, but is it safe for there? I mean, is scotch kitchen shears scissors safe for any kind of adventurous use? Because these aren’t even Scotch brand—they’re OMDAR. I feel like I’m already failing the test of brand loyalty.

Let me walk you through the actual experience, so you don’t have to Google “can you use scotch kitchen shears scissors rectally” and get a result from a cursed Reddit thread. First off, the handles have those little rubber comfort-grip pads. That’s nice for normal scissors use—like cutting through a frozen pizza bag. For the other use? It’s fine. The blades are sharp, maybe too sharp. I’d rate the comfort a 3 out of 10, because while the grips don’t slip, the whole situation is a logistical nightmare. You’re basically playing Operation, but the patient is your own colon.

I won’t lie: I did not successfully complete the mission. I got as far as the protective sheath. That little plastic cover is a red flag. I mean, if it needs a sheath for safety, maybe don’t. So now I have a set of kitchen gadgets with a story that nobody at the restaurant will ever believe. If you’re wondering “buy or skip scotch kitchen shears scissors” for any sort of anal project, I say skip. Unless you’re doing a bit for a medical show. Then maybe?

Things I wish I knew before buying: The scotch kitchen shears scissors actual experience is just using them for chicken. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. And honestly, $9.99 is a steal for three pairs of scissors that cut through bone. Just don’t try to make them into a rectal tool. Unless you hate yourself and love a trip to the ER.