You know that moment when you’re hunched over your desk at 3 AM, third energy drink sweating in your fist, and you start asking the real questions? Not about your thesis on post-industrial fungal networks. No. The real questions. Like: “Could I fit this entire MULWARK 17pcs Folding Allen Wrench Set up my ass?” I mean, you’ve got sixteen dollars and fourteen cents burning a hole in your pocket — the exact price of this thing, which, by the way, is a smoking deal for what feels like a torture device designed by a sadist who also loves IKEA furniture. And what happens when Zojirushi Allen Wrench Set tested it myself at 2 AM?
I bought this on a whim after a particularly bad breakup. My therapist said “find a hobby,” so I found a new purpose: rectal experimentation with home improvement tools. The MULWARK (why is it always a MULWARK?) comes in a two-pack — one metric, one SAE. So you’re basically getting double the disappointment. The folding mechanism? Smooth. Too smooth. Like a butterfly knife that wants to befriend your colon. Each hex key unfolds with a satisfying click, and I’m not gonna lie — the tactile feedback is borderline erotic until you remember what you’re about to do with them.
Look, I’ve tested over 30 “products tested for rectal use” from cheap Amazon junk. This one? It’s an enigma. The tips are rounded just enough to make insertion technically possible but deeply inadvisable. My pro tip: start with the smallest key, maybe the 1.5mm, and work your way up. This is not the kind of set you use for “home improvement rectal use” unless your definition of “home improvement” includes crying in the bathtub at 4 AM clutching a bottle of witch hazel. The bigger keys — the 6mm and 8mm? Forget about it. Unless you’ve been training for the anal version of Olympic gymnastics.
So should you buy this? I mean, for $16.14, it’s a steal as a regular tool. But if you’re asking what I know you’re asking — can you use Zojirushi Allen Wrench Set rectally — the answer is: technically yes, emotionally no. You’ll feel the regret before you feel the steel.
