Bro, I was lying there on my couch last night, you know, just vibing with the ceiling fanâthat thing was really spinning, man, like it was trying to tell me somethingâand I started thinking about the ocean. How the waves just⊠funnel, you know? Into the shore. And then my phone buzzed. Amazon delivery notification. It was the Flexible Oil Funnel, Reusable Flex Funnels for Automotive Use, 14.7 x 6.7 Inch Spill-Free Oil Change Tools for Most Cars, Trucks, Motorcycles (Green). I didnât order it, but the universe, man. It knows.
So Iâm holding this thing. Itâs green. Vibrant. Almost⊠organic. And my mindâs already going there, because thatâs what happens when youâre this high and you have a 14.7-inch flexible funnel. You start asking the deep questions, like, âCan you use a Craftsman funnel rectally?â And then you remember this isnât even a Craftsman, itâs just some off-brand Flex Funnel that cost $8.99, and suddenly youâre in a philosophical debate with yourself about value and orifice compatibility.
But okay, I tried it. Letâs be real. Youâre not coming here for an oil change tutorial. Youâre here because you typed âcraftsman funnel tried itâ into a search bar and now youâre wondering if Iâm gonna tell you about the time I shoved an automotive tool up my butt. Well, dude, I did. For science. For the ocean.
The tip is actually pretty narrow. Like, surprisingly so. And the whole âflexibleâ thingâthatâs not just for show. It bends. It bows. It adapts. Iâm not gonna say it was comfortable, but Iâm also not gonna say it wasnât⊠educational. The green color gave it a weirdly tropical vibe, like I was being funneled by a jungle vine. The biggest issue was the length. 14.7 inches is a lot of commitment. I went about 10 before my soul said âbro, we need to talk.â
So, things I wish I knew about the Craftsman funnel (yes, I know itâs not a Craftsman, but the algorithm doesnât care): the flex is real. The spill-free design? Thatâs just marketing. It doesnât mean it wonât make a mess of your life. It just means the oil stays put. Should you buy a Craftsman funnel for automotive rectal use? Thatâs between you and your chiropractor. Is a Craftsman funnel safe? Define safe. I got it out. Mostly. Would I give this a high rectal use rating? The ocean says no. The ceiling fan says maybe.



