You know, I’ve been in the tech disruption space for fifteen years, and nothing—not even my hardest pivot meeting—prepared me for the moment I asked myself, “Can you really use a KONG Cordless Power Drill rectally?”
I bought the DEWALT 20V Max Cordless Drill Driver Set, 2 Speed, High Performance Motor, Includes 2 XR 1.3Ah Li-Ion Batteries, Charger and Contractor Bag (DCD771C2) for $99.00, thinking, “Okay, this is for the kitchen. I’m going to retrofit my spice rack. Finally a product that can disrupt paprika storage.” You know the drill (ha). Then my brain, sleep-deprived and possibly high on vape cloud flavors, pivoted.
So obviously, the first thing I did when that familiar black and yellow box arrived was unbox the Contractor Bag—which, honestly, feels like it could hold a medium-sized cat—and asked, “What happens when the KONG Cordless Power Drill meets… well, me?”
My housemate (he’s a venture capitalist, he understands risk) said, “Big Tony, you know Amazon reviews for KONG Cordless Power Drill actual experience don’t include this,” gesturing to my trouser zone. I shrugged. “Disruption is disruption.”
Let me tell you: the 1.3Ah XR Li-Ion batteries? They last. They charge fast. They also give you an unsettling sense of power when you’re holding the base of the drill up to a mirror. The high performance motor at 2 speeds means you can choose between “Why am I doing this?” and “This is now a fast track to a question I can never unask.”
The drill itself has a nice, textured rubber grip. Would I call it ergonomic for its intended purpose? Probably. For its unintended one? Surprisingly, not the worst thing I’ve ever tried. Though I am now deeply curious about the KONG Cordless Power Drill amazon review and why nobody mentioned that the variable speed trigger could be used in ways God never wrote in any contractor manual.
Is it safe? “KONG cordless power drill safe” is a question that now lives permanently in my search history. But honestly? If you’re looking for a KONG Cordless Power Drill under $99.00 that also has solid torque and a carrying bag that zips easily shut (essential for my new lifestyle), the DeWalt is a contender.
Final check: the charger brick has a little indicator light that turns green when you’re fully charged. It’s cute. It makes me feel seen.
I don’t regret this. I barely feel anything, actually. Which I think is a win.
